I guess not.
Sometimes I wonder if it would do me any good to record any of these down.
It must be better to forget everything the next morning,
Eveen after struggling so much to remember,
I probably won't recall.
It's a blessing to have such short term memory I guess.
Selectively remembering things
Throwing all the rest away.
And with it, the burdens that I would other wise have to carry.
I keep telling myself,
No point recalling them
No point making myself slog through the mess and disceit
Complaining and blaming all that makes me,
Breaking down and weep at night
Without anyone's notice.
All a waste of time and effort.
A waste of energy and strength.
I am no longer the past me.
A wall is there, can't you see?
Or maybe not.
A delusion not worth noticing,
A pretentious being no worth understanding.
And yes,
Maybe I should resume building it.
And you can reach me no more.
